I hold no grudge against them. I was there when they first met. I watched them bump into each other, dance in a shower of stars, fall in love. Since then they've walked along side by side. I perseveringly trained myself to rejoice in their happiness and empathize with their sufferings. After a while it came naturally...
Their lives take such beautiful shapes in my mind. Every little thing is elevated to mythical proport-
My life? Mine... is irrelevant. I would only bore you. No, no, I was telling you about them. I have some wedding photographs, I can show you if you want. I always keep them in the top drawer.
...Here. I moved to Portland after this, to be closer to their new place. She asked me to.
After that it gradually became harder. Yet, I tried to take the blows life dealt me not only stoically, but humorously. I've laughed my whole way through the hurricanes and fire...and I was always able to be happy with them - for them - because they made me believe there would be a reward in the end. My own shower of stars.
But there was nothing. Why? I wouldn't dare to answer that. Perhaps it was my fault, perhaps it was fate... circumstances. Maybe the difference lies in our dreams. Their wishes were simple; their dreams of happiness attainable. I wanted far too much.
Cloud Cult - 'Hurricane and Fire Survival Guide' & 'May Your Hearts Stay Strong' [both taken from their brilliant new album 'Feel Good Ghosts (Tea-Partying Through Tornadoes)' which you really should buy]